Shredding the Past

My little desktop document shredder died and I purchased a fancy new floor model that pulverizes paper into little bits. It came today, and after getting it set up, I pulled out the boxes of docs needing destruction and set to work. And within 10 minutes I was crying.

Who would have thought that shredding old tax documents would be such an emotional experience? A word of advice to anyone who has faced the death of a spouse or a divorce: box the old stuff up and let someone else shred it. Even after almost four years, seeing his name and his handwriting on old papers has made it difficult to feed them into the shredder. I find myself grateful for the OVERHEAT light that comes on, signaling time for a break.

About Sharon

Like anyone who lives long enough, I have experienced great loss and survived. I am convinced that my survival depends on my own participation in creating the reality I am living in, and I am determined to be a thoughtful and active participant/creator. These writings are my way of documenting that creation. As the song goes, "I will survive!" I chose the title Staying Vertical because I find that surviving isn't just staying on my feet physically. Keeping my thoughts and emotions on the vertical plane keeps me alive and moving forward. Thanks for joining me!
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One Response to Shredding the Past

  1. Laura Haskell says:

    A kindred spirit. Every now and then I re- read a old medical deposition I found that speaks with his voice, it is so personal. It is like having him back in the room in spirit. It makes me smile so I keep it. I still haven’t looked at old home movies though. Bill didn’t have his own children to keep his name alive with memories. 7 years have passed but I like to feel I keep his spirit alive by remembering him. I watched an old movie on TCM when I couldn’t sleep last night. It was made in 1929, the character Norma Shearer played was married on February 12, 1929, the date my grandparents were married. I looked up at heaven and smiled at Grandma and Grandpa. I hope they saw me.

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