My little desktop document shredder died and I purchased a fancy new floor model that pulverizes paper into little bits. It came today, and after getting it set up, I pulled out the boxes of docs needing destruction and set to work. And within 10 minutes I was crying.
Who would have thought that shredding old tax documents would be such an emotional experience? A word of advice to anyone who has faced the death of a spouse or a divorce: box the old stuff up and let someone else shred it. Even after almost four years, seeing his name and his handwriting on old papers has made it difficult to feed them into the shredder. I find myself grateful for the OVERHEAT light that comes on, signaling time for a break.
A kindred spirit. Every now and then I re- read a old medical deposition I found that speaks with his voice, it is so personal. It is like having him back in the room in spirit. It makes me smile so I keep it. I still haven’t looked at old home movies though. Bill didn’t have his own children to keep his name alive with memories. 7 years have passed but I like to feel I keep his spirit alive by remembering him. I watched an old movie on TCM when I couldn’t sleep last night. It was made in 1929, the character Norma Shearer played was married on February 12, 1929, the date my grandparents were married. I looked up at heaven and smiled at Grandma and Grandpa. I hope they saw me.