And You Will Still Cry Sometimes

Like I did this morning. I was getting dressed for a day that is going to be mostly at home plodding through a number of tasks — I had only three before I went to a meeting last night. Today includes another meeting, and my list will grow again. Today’s meeting is  with some of “my old AF buddies” down at Castle Rock. A good many of them knew Bill, and a couple of them were pretty close to his heart.

As I looked for a shirt to go with the heavy black jeans I put on, because it is springtime in the Rockies, I spotted a black, collared polo-style shirt that belonged to Bill.

I kept a few things, you know. I am not ready to be done with the man I shared a bed with for 28 years.

As I pulled on the shirt, I let my head and my heart go to that place where I could imagine the shirt — its crest representing the unit he flew with in Viet Nam — holding me in his arms. I knew where this was going to end up, and it didn’t take long to get there with tears sliding down my cheeks and me making fish faces.

It was a sweet moment, just before the tears, and totally worth it. I enjoyed that hug, and I honor the tears that followed it.


About Sharon

Like anyone who lives long enough, I have experienced great loss and survived. I am convinced that my survival depends on my own participation in creating the reality I am living in, and I am determined to be a thoughtful and active participant/creator. These writings are my way of documenting that creation. As the song goes, "I will survive!" I chose the title Staying Vertical because I find that surviving isn't just staying on my feet physically. Keeping my thoughts and emotions on the vertical plane keeps me alive and moving forward. Thanks for joining me!
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4 Responses to And You Will Still Cry Sometimes

  1. Pete Siegel says:

    I know how you feel, Sharon. I still have some comfortable socks and a pair of comfortable boots my Dad wore. He’s been gone almost 11 years, and every day there’s always a question that pops into my mind that I would have asked him.

    • Sharon says:

      I don’t think they ever really leave us, do they? As long as there is a memory, some of that wonderful energy is still there.

  2. Lissa @ lafcustomdesigns says:

    Yay! I found you. It was so good to see you today. ;->

    This ost reminds me of when I “got”my definition of immortality–if one person remembers us, we are immortal.

    Do keep in touch, my friend.

  3. 抓姦 says:

    You certainly deserve a round of applause for your post and more specifically, your blog in general. Very high quality material.

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